Every day on the Internet, I get six or more offers on how to make my penis longer, wider, thicker, or more appealing. These ads promise to “satisfy my dreams.” They offer me some magic potion or surgery that “guarantees” to enlarge my penis.

Is there a legitimate way to make your penis any larger? The answer is unequivocally no! Many men have questions about a variety of “enlarging” procedures known collectively as phalloplasty. Surgeons are using a number of techniques, including skin grafts (known as dermal matrix grafts), in an attempt to increase the girth of the penis. These procedures, as well as a lengthening technique that increases penis length by severing the suspensory ligaments, are falsely represented as legitimate ways to increase the size of the penis.

Phalloplasty and lengthening procedures are both inventions of hucksters, charlatans, and fakes. Not only are they ineffective, they are also highly risky. The idea that men need to have huge penises is a cultural myth perpetuated more by men than by women. There is hardly a man alive who does not dream of a bigger penis. Be assured there is no medically or surgically effective way of doing this safely at the present time. To believe otherwise is to subject your penis to gross disfigurement.

My advice to the misinformed men out there is do not believe the enlargement and enhancement “bigger is better” ads appearing on the back pages of men’s magazines. They are totally illegitimate! Rather, just take a good look in the mirror, gaze down at that friendly organ hanging between your thighs, and be happy with it. If it functions well, then you have nothing to worry about. Do yourself the favor of treating it as a friend. Protect it from the mutilation that will occur if you trust anyone who promises an unobtainable result.

Dudley S. Danoff, MD, FACS is the attending urologic surgeon and founder/president of the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center Tower Urology Group in Los Angeles, California. He is the author of The Ultimate Guide To Male Sexual Health and Superpotency (Warner Books).