“Sexuality is an essential part of everyone’s life. It is the most fundamental aspect of being a human, second only to basic survival.”
—an excerpt from my book, Penis Power

In the more than four decades that I have been practicing urology, I have treated every conceivable problem in the male genitourinary and reproductive systems. These disorders range from minor herpes to major bladder tumors, from kidney transplants to prostate cancer.

I have treated men of such great wealth they could buy the hospital in which I did their surgery. I have treated men so poor they couldn’t even purchase aspirin. I have treated world-famous celebrities and the people who shine celebrities’ shoes. I have treated geniuses and dunces, PhD’s and dropouts, men who have read everything and men who cannot read their own names.

I have treated the young, middle-aged, and elderly, heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, and nonsexuals. I have counseled married men, single men, divorced men, and widowers. I have evaluated the promiscuous, the monogamous, and the celibate.

All that experience has taught me that, despite the vast differences among them, all men have certain things in common.

Three constant observations led directly to my writing this book:

1. Men are penis-oriented. In the minds of men, the penis reigns supreme.
2. Most men (and almost all women) are woefully ignorant about the penis and the male sexual apparatus.
3. An alarming percentage of men are plagued by P.W.: penis weakness, or penis insecurity.

What Does it Mean for a Man to be “Penis-Oriented”?

Penis oriented means that a man’s personality, his behavior, and his outlook on life are governed in large part by his image of his penis. The biological and emotional signals sent to him by his penis make a man “penocentric.”

Usually, the suggestion that a particular man is penis-driven contains pejorative connotations. We say things like, “His big head is ruled by his little head,” or “His brains are in his wiener.”  I don’t mean “penis-oriented” pejoratively. I am asserting as a fact the dominance of the penis over a man’s being: his self-image, attitude, and behavior.

There are extremes—the Don Juans, Casanovas, exhibitionists, and men who are obsessed with sex—but those characters are not the only ones who are penis-driven. What most people don’t understand is that all men are penis-oriented. This is simply the way nature intended men to be.

In many respects, the penis is the organ of a man’s essence. It is the axis around which the male body and the personality rotate. The truth of my observation is obvious in our rich heritage of bawdy humor. Is any body part the subject of more jokes than the penis?

Much of that humor directly reflects my point about the supremacy of the organ. There is a famous joke about the man who says to his girlfriend, “Women don’t have any brains,” to which she replies, “That’s because we don’t have penises to put them in.”

Then there is the riddle a female patient once posed to me: What do you call the superfluous skin around the penis?
Answer: A man.

Or how about the classic story of the mother observing her young son and daughter taking a bath together. When the daughter asks her mom if that “thing” between her brother’s legs is his brain, the mother replies, “Not yet!”

What’s in a Nickname?

Consider the number of nicknames assigned to the penis. Do we have nicknames for arms and legs and livers? Not even buttocks and breasts come close to the number of monikers we have given the penis. That alone is a strong indication of how central the penis is to male identity. Here is a partial list of the many terms for the penis I’ve heard in my life and in my practice: apparatus, appendage, bat, battering ram, bone, bone piccolo, cock, dick, dingaling, dong, engine, equipment, gadget, gladius (a Latin word meaning “sword”; the Latin word vagina means “sheath”), goober, horn, hook, instrument, johnson, john thomas, joint, jolly roger, machine, manhood, manroot, member, mighty one-eye, one-eyed trouser snake, organ, pecker, peenie, pee pee, peter, pistol, pisser, prick, putz, rod, roger, salami, schlong, schmuck, shaft, thing, third leg, tool, wang, weapon, wee wee, wiener, wick, works, yard, zapper. And there are probably many more being invented every day! Individual men, and sometimes their lovers, tag their penises with their own personal and affectionate nicknames. I had a patient whose wife called his penis Helmut because its head, the glans, reminded her of a helmet.

A college friend called his penis Winchester, after the rifle. When flower power came into vogue, he dropped that aggressive image in favor of Mellow Yellow. Famous men with personal penis nicknames include Robin Williams, who used to refer to Mr. Happy in his stand-up routines; Lyndon Johnson, who, true to form, called his Jumbo; and the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll, who referred to his favorite appendage as Little Elvis.

The Mind-Body Connection

In a man’s psyche, the penis is king. The penis rules its owner as a king governs his citizens. Sometimes, like a potentate who obeys the will of his people, the penis does a man’s bidding. Other times, like a dictator, it commands by its own terms and its own rules—rules that men cannot always comprehend.

As a monarch, the penis sometimes acts in unpredictable, enigmatic ways. It can be despotic, capricious, and selfish, and at other times benevolent, magnanimous, and wise. When King Penis issues a command, men have little power to disobey. It can turn the mind, the emotions, and the senses into obedient serfs.

It is critical to understand the powerful correlation between the dictates of the penis and the behavior of men in all aspects of life. My father often said, “When it’s soft, I’m hard, and when it’s hard, I’m soft.”

What my father really meant is that the penis is an extremely unpredictable creature. Its potential to control the state of mind and the emotions of men is unparalleled. Every wise woman knows that if you want something from a man, the worst time to ask is when he is sexually frustrated. It is far better to ask when he is sexually aroused and his blood has rushed to his loins. His willpower has followed. He will sell his soul for satisfaction. The best time to ask for anything, however, is just after he has had a satisfying orgasm, when his essence has become as soft as his sated member.

On a more abstract level, there is a powerful connection between how men perceive their penises and how they perceive themselves. Men who like their penises and have confidence in their organs also have trust and confidence in themselves. Conversely, those men who distrust or resent their penises and are insecure about its size or ability to perform tend to have poor self-esteem.

It is not clear which comes first, the self-image or the penis-image. The relationship between self-esteem and Penis Power™ works in both directions. A man who is unsure of himself sexually, or has embarrassing sexual experiences—such as premature ejaculation or failure to get an erection—will be shadowed in other aspects of his life by insecurity and self-doubt.

The penis is an extension of the ego, and at the same time, it shapes the ego. The penis receives its marching orders from the brain. At the same time, it dictates to the brain.

Sex is Essential

Sexuality is an essential part of everyone’s life. It is the most fundamental aspect of being a human, second only to basic survival.

This basic truth of human existence deserves open discussion. This should be celebrated as one of our most valuable gifts. Instead, we either deny it or act as if it were a curse inflicted on us by the devil.

Many men and women suffer in their lives, both sexually and emotionally. Much of this suffering is a result of a general lack of sex education. In American culture, the issues surrounding sexuality have been barred from public discourse for far too long.

It’s my sincere hope that my book—a guide to all aspects of male sexual health, from the psychological to the physical—can help men and women overcome the initial embarrassment, awkwardness, and unfamiliarity of these topics, as they come to understand their bodies and themselves.