Most people’s opinion of the penis can pretty much be summed up in the age-old saying, “It has a mind of its own.” This is one of those classic clichés I constantly hear from my patients and friends in reference to their penises. This statement reflects the issues surrounding what I call the penis mystique—that curious realm where the hard data of biology meets the unpredictable and mysterious realm of the mind and emotions.

One of the reasons we are so fascinated by that “junior partner,” as a lawyer patient of mine calls his, is that it does seem to think for itself. What other organ grows to several times its normal size and then shrinks again, sometimes despite your intentions and without warning?

What other organ is so unpredictable?That’s why we speak about it, and maybe even speak to it, as if it were a person. Men say, “My penis did this,” or “My penis did that,” as if it makes its own decisions. The truth is, however much the penis appears to act on its own, your penis is not separate from yourself.  Your penis does not have a mind of its own. In fact, it reads your mind.

The Unlikely Mind (and Heart, and Soul) Reader

Yes, it’s true; your penis can read your mind.  But it not only reads your mind, it reads your heart and soul as well. The behavior of your penis is a very accurate reflection of your state of being. At any given moment, it reflects your thoughts and feelings more accurately than any other part of your body.

When you are up, so is your penis.

When you are down, your penis will be down as well.

When you feel strong, vigorous, creative, and confident, your penis is strong, vigorous, creative, and confident, too.

When you feel tired, apathetic, depressed, or impatient, your penis is also tired, apathetic, depressed, and impatient.

The connection between the mind and the penis is one of the most powerful forces in the complex structure of male sexuality.

The reason the penis seems to have a mind of its own and sometimes acts contrary to your wishes is because even though you may not always be in touch with what you are really thinking and feeling, your penis is. Through a vast network of nerves and blood vessels, the penis has a direct connection to your brain.

You cannot fool it.

If you are angry, nervous, or worried, and try to hide your feelings by putting on a happy, sexy exterior, your penis will not only know the truth, but it will reveal the truth through its behavior.

If your partner offends you or hurts you, you can bet that no matter how hard you try to conceal your feelings, your penis will act hurt and offended.  On the contrary, if your partner adores you, flatters you, and wants you, your penis will respond positively, even if you do not think you are in the mood.

Your Penis Reflects Your Personality

The behavior of your penis is a more accurate barometer of who you are at any particular moment than your own conscious assessment.

In fact, the behavior of your penis may be an accurate reflection of your basic personality. Like the eyes, your penis is an organ of expression. That is why, over the many years I have examined penises and talked to the men to whom they are attached, I have observed a definite correlation between how men behave sexually and how they behave in general.  For the most part, we behave in the bedroom much the same way we behave in the living room, board room, factory, gym, or driving on the freeway

Men who have a negative penis-image tend to have a poor self-image overall. Men with a positive penis-image see themselves in a positive light.

Bottom line: understanding the link between self-image and sexual identity is critical. Much of sexual weakness or sexual power stems from the correlation between the two.

I’ll talk more about this in future posts. For now, you can consult my book for more information—and tips on how you can boost your self-image (and your performance, too).