In my many years of urologic practice, I have had thousands of conversations with women about the most intimate details of their sex lives. They have told me things they have related to no other person, including their most esoteric sexual practices and wildest fantasies. For the most part, women do not ever seriously express to me a strong preference for one kind of penis over another. Believe me, I have asked! 

However, it cannot be denied that when it comes to penises, some women do have a definite preference as to size or shape. But the overwhelming majority of women I have interviewed have confessed that length, width, appearance, and complexion are all factors that do not seem to matter in a long-term relationship, even to the women who describe in detail the specific kinds of chests, legs, and behinds that excite them in their mates.

The only real complaints I have heard are regarding what we call a micropenis. This is an abnormally small penis. The true micropenis is extremely rare. It is at the low end of the bell-shaped curve. Ultimately, with the exception of those men who lie outside the middle of the curve, I stand by the belief that men can be as “big” as they think they are.

In reality, penis size is not as significant as most men believe it to be because the penis is not the only body part that can be used to stimulate and satisfy a partner. Whether or not penis size is an issue for you as a man or an issue within a sexual relationship, as a superpotent man, you must learn to use your hands, lips, tongue, or any other device that can aid in stimulating your partner.

For the majority, when it comes to the penis, what partners care about most is hardness and responsiveness; some also mention cleanliness. The penis is a functional organ, not necessarily an aesthetic object. For this reason, some women may require a larger functioning penis to stimulate them to orgasm. In most cases, this is simply an anatomical fact (a taller or larger woman will invariably have more body fat, creating a greater distance over which an erect penis must traverse, or a larger vagina that requires a larger penis for stimulation). It is important for the two partners to communicate their physical needs and personal desires. Experimenting with different positions and alternative or additional methods of stimulation can help satisfy both partners and go a long way toward maintaining a strong emotional and sexual relationship.

Some women and some homosexual men have a preconditioned attraction to a large penis as a sign of masculinity. They make a psychological association between large penises and their own satisfaction. This association is not only erroneous but it is also an unhealthy way of gauging the potential of a man. It is important for men and women to recognize that sexual satisfaction is not limited to the penis, and especially not to its size or shape.

As in all things, knowledge is power, and I cannot stress enough how much the sexual power of a man can be elevated when he simply learns how to cater to the specific and unique needs of his partner. Ultimately, the penis, regardless of its size, is one of many sexual tools that men have at their disposal. The more you learn how to use your entire body to stimulate your partner, the less important one part of the body becomes.


Dudley S. Danoff, MD, FACS is the attending urologic surgeon and founder/president of the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center Tower Urology Group in Los Angeles, California. He is the author of Penis Power: The Ultimate Guide To Male Sexual Health (Del Monaco Press, 2011) and Superpotency (Warner Books).

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